When HSP Rumination Hits You

When to Trust Your Gut and When To Listen to Your Head

Earlier this week, I posted a Note as I was nervously leaving for an out-of-town retreat as part of my full-time position.

The Note resonated with many people - especially those who identify as being neurodivergent and/or Highly Sensitive. Below is a screenshot; you can also click here to read the comments.

I’m guessing that this idea and associated discussion resonates with you, too. Am I right?

Of course rumination doesn’t only plague HSPs and doesn’t only affect those working for employers. In fact, I found that rumination sometimes plagued me more often when freelancing full-time as I felt more alone — without trusted colleagues or advisors to connect with which would then cause then the rumination to fester.

Spiral much? Photo by 愚木混株 cdd20

Interestingly, as Highly Sensitive People, the polar opposite (or “superpower” though I don’t love that term) of rumination is our intuition and strong gut feelings.

In my experience, there’s a sweet spot. And that is — differentiating between our keen sense of intuition and any perceived slights born via rumination. So, yes, people are going to give us the stink eye or hate our work but, many times, we’re just “pre-worrying” with no evidence.

Here are a few examples:

• “Did Cheryl just roll her eyes at me on that Zoom call or is she tired?”

• “I haven’t heard back from John at ABC agency yet; he probably hates my draft and doesn’t know how to tell me.”

• “My payment from Jamie is now 6 weeks overdue. Has the company gone under? Are they not paying me because of some misunderstanding? Should I email or call my contact — or go above her head and contact their accountant? Will my contact hate me if I do this?”

I’m no psychologist but I’ll tell you what worked for me in these instances:

• Don’t text, call or email when you’re feeling insecure, irritated, or emotional. When you do contact your client, keep it friendly and professional.

• Even if we don’t have colleagues per se, it’s very important for freelancers — especially HSP freelancers — to connect with like-minded people. Per a previous newsletter focused on joining associations or Facebook groups in your niche, doing so can help you build trust & comraderie with others in your sitution. Once you’ve formed a legit connection, you can lean on each other for these types of questions and concerns.

• Ask yourself questions to try and clear up if your concern is valid i.e. your gut is correct and it is a problem that needs addressing or if you might be overthinking/your anxiety is taking over:

  • “Did John indicate in any way that he didn’t like my initial draft? Perhaps he’s just busy. I’ll give it a few more days.”

  • “It did seem like Cheryl was irritated on that Zoom call. I’ll reach out and see if she’d like me to organize a ‘check in’ meeting to make sure we’re on the same page with this project.”

  • I think Jamie would be upset if I go directly to Accounts Payable. I’ll try leaving her one more voicemail asking her to look into my payment and whether there’s someone else at the agency I should contact as well.”

Basically, we don’t want rumination to dominate us, our work, or our relationship with our clients. As Highly Sensitive People we know we’re gonna be hit by ruminating thoughts. We also know that we’re highly intuitive and observant and there’s a good chance that, if we’ve noticed something, there’s probably more going on.

Some final advice? Trust your gut but pause before taking action.

Does this advice gel with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts and feedback. Please like, comment and engage with this post.

Until next time, HSP Creative — stay real.

Lisa