4 Things I'll Never Do Again
Hard-Won Truths from One HSP to Another š¤²
Hello, beautiful people.
Iām baa-aackkkk. Feeling extremely grateful for my week-long vacation in serene Riviera Maya, Mexico. While it was -23 Celcius with 60 cm of snow here in Toronto, it was sunny and +25 C in Mexico. āļøWe were absolutely thrilled. On the plane ride back, I caught a cold (of course) and then went on a two-day work trip to historic but frigid Kingston, Ontario, Canada. āļø Now Iām feeling worn out and trying to recover. š
Keeping vacation mode alive for a moment, here are a few photos from our trip to Mexicoā¦
Today I want to share some hard-earned truths with you.
At 55 years old, Iām a recovered people pleaser overcoming chronic depression and anxiety. Though blessed in many ways, my life has also been difficult.
Having discovered the Highly Sensitive trait only about 15 years ago, much of my life was fraught with melancholia, chronic digestive issues (some related to environment and stress and some inherited) and angst. At this point, after dedicating years to therapy and finding the right meds to help with anxiety, Iām proud of myself on how far Iāve come.
With that in mind, here are several important lessons that Iāve learned as a Creative HSP.
4 Things Iāll Never Do Again
Put Othersā Needs Ahead of Mine
From an early age, I was taught that othersā feelings and opinions and needs were more important than mine.
If we talked too loud, the neighbours might hear.
If a kid in my class wanted the green marker and I was using it, I gave it to them to make them happy.
If my friend wanted a drive to the party, Iād take her but that often wasnāt appreciated or reciprocated.
Always bending to other peopleās wishes and needs turned me into a shell of a person.
No longer do I put other peopleās needs before my own. In fact, in my āmenopause eraā, Iāve truly discovered my power and am proud to put myself first (most of the time of course ā Iām still self-aware).
Betray My Values
Iāve always been pretty outspoken. If someone made a racist joke or dissed a person for being different, Iād usually say something. Itās tough of course ā none of us is perfect and sometimes balancing legit needs (speaking out at work for instance) with staying true to our values ā can be tough.
Now that Iām older, in a good economic place, and feeling more confident, Iām more apt to speak out on issues that matter to me. For instance, the other day, on my Facebook page, I flat-out declared that people should unfriend me online and in person if they support far-right āvaluesā and/or the Trump administration. Iām not interested in being friendly with anyone who supports that regime.
Not Have an Out
As a Highly Sensitive Person, I tire easily, get overwhelmed by noise and chaos, and have a limited social battery. Finding myself in a situation that I canāt get out of is my version of hell.
As such, I do my best to always have an āout.ā Whether that means driving myself to a party so I can leave when I want to or paying more so I can have my own hotel room on a girlsā trip, I try to plan ahead.
This can also mean bringing my wireless headphones almost everywhere so I can listen to music or a podcast when Iām tired or in a crowd (I did this yesterday on the train home from Kingston and was so happy to escape into my music).
Give Up my Artistic Pursuits
Painting, drawing, music, writing, theatre, readingā¦ these realms are my happy place. As a creative person, I feel I must engage in creativity or die.
That might sound dramatic and I suppose it is to some degree but I do find myself losing a part of my soul when I havenāt engaged in something creative. This is especially true if Iām really busy at work or having a hard time.
Art is a balm for my soul and brings me great pleasure. It also allows me to turn off my brain for a while and just react from a soul level. I donāt necessarily engage in creative pursuits for glory but creating something beautiful that others enjoy can be a part of it too.
Whether I have to pay for new oil paints or take a writing class to āscratch an artistic itchā, Iām willing to give up other things (like seeing friends or family) in order to stay true to that part of myself.
Hereās one of my recent creationsā¦
There are several more lessons that I wanted to share with you but, because Iām still recovering from illness, Iāll leave it there for today.
Do these ideas resonate with you? Whatās something youāll never do again?
Until Next Time, Creative HSP ā Stay Real.
Lisa
Thank you for sharing my article, @Miguel Clark Mallet š
Lisa, Thanks for sharing your photos from Mexico and your artwork! I loved both. I appreciate your wise advice for HSPs. Yesterday, I put my earplugs in at the grocery store, and it made a world of difference. Sometimes, I neglect to do this because it's an extra step, but this is something I really need!